Friday, April 27, 2012

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Clown Shoes Miracle India Pale Ale


Clown Shoes Miracle India Pale Ale
On label of this beer by the Ipswich, MA, brewery, it's detailed how percentage of item's profits goes to Clown Shoes Minor Miracle Fund, which benefits people in ways that aren't described. Makes it hard to say the beer is decent but pedestrian. Heavily hopped, but lacks additional flavor. Sorry!
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Oskar Blues Brewery Old Chub Scotch Ale


Oskar Blues Old Chub Scotch Ale
Since this Colorado brewery distributes their product in cans, the first of the sixer was consumed straight from the aluminum. No comments on color (brown?). Flavor? Scent? Significant malt. Caramel flavor. Smooth, creamy texture. Strong finish sans aftertaste. Bourbouny fragrance. Power-packed, but easy to drink.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Stoudts Smooth Hoperator


Stoudts Smooth Hoperator
Was miffed when I put two and two together, realizing this beer was bock variety. Don't love bocks. Wish there was type identification to go with beer name (and effectively cheeky label). Where this beer succeeds is hops surplus to go with healthy malts. Perfect balance. The result? Stellar doppelbock.
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The Pizza Project
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Chain Reaction: Pizza Hut

Going to make this a rather short post because, if I'm being honest, the pizza I am going to describe was downed at least three weeks ago. I would not be able to be very elaborate with my descriptions, especially since I was eating with family members and was too coy to take notes. So let's get right to the point: A lot of pizza aficianados are quick to rag on chains, such as Domino's Pizza or Papa John's. They say that their pizza is not authentic. That it is taken out of a freezer before it is placed into the oven. This is fair. Still, I believe that even the greatest of pizza snobs would have to admit that, when compared to Pizza Hut, eating a pie from Domino's or Papa's is like devouring an offering from an artisan straight off the boat from the Old Country.

We got this $10 meal deal from Pizza Hut the other day. It's a lot of food, and that's great. But, boy, is the concept ridiculous! You get a one-topping pie of the medium variety. A bunch of breadsticks. And just in case you feel like you have not gotten your optimum carb intake for the year in the first two courses, they give you...MORE BREADSTICKS! Only this time, they are smothered with cinnamon sauce and accompanied by a sugary dipping sauce. It's a pretty good bargain, sure. I'm just saying: Couldn't they have dreamed up something better than more bread for that dessert item? The site of all that bread chilling in one box is patently absurd.

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Full Sail Pale Ale

Full Sail Pale Ale
Hung out with buds Thursday. Night got foggy. Remember everything though. Ate delicious sausage-and-onions pizza by brother's girlfriend. Spun both Big Country and Wu-Tang. Danced while holding dumbbells (extra cardio). Drank this Oregon-based beer. Drove home. Was a little bored by beer. Rest was great!!!
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 200 Words or Less: Victory Brewing Company Saison du BUFF


Victory Saison Du BUFF
Was at Whole Foods - near childrens' play area of all places - when I spied cases of this collaborative beer with Stone and Dogfish Head being stored. Asked personnel if they new when it would be available. They didn't. Checked website two days later. There it was, not only in bottles, but also ON DRAFT! Grabbing my growler, I headed out for a fill-up! The growler guy was a real winner. Here, I thought there was just one version of the beer, but it turns out that the esteemed breweries collaborated on the recipe, and then all three were able to go off and use the ingredients in the way they saw fit. After tasting this, I would be very excited to taste the Stone and Dogfish Head versions - Stone being a brewer that I would see as superior to Victory and Dogfish Head being one that I would probably describe as inferior by a slim margin. Victory's features some seriously dry, piney notes; a rustic, wheaty, almost flowery scent; and a picture-perfect golden color. Drinks like a light (yet complex), smooth specimen, but packs a fairly serious punch.
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The Pizza Project
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Monday, April 23, 2012

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Middle Sister Sweetie Pie Red Table Wine


Middle Sister Sweetie Pie Red Table Wine
Never been to wine class. Couldn't tell you what tannins are, or even if I spelled it correctly in this sentence. Went to San Francisco and didn't make the effort to visit Napa Valley. I can only say when wine sucks. And this is the worst wine I've ever tasted.
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The Pizza Project
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Iron Hill Brewery Proves Good Weather Goes Better with Beer and Nachos

As horrible as the weather has been the last two days, it's easy to forget how nice it was just this weekend. Saturday was eating-outside weather so we did just that, hitting up Iron Hill Brewery in Phoenixville, Pa. We were looking for something cheap to eat because we were set to go to a Philadelphia brunch (most likely at Northern Liberties' PYT) the next day. However, a couple circumstances aligned to allow us to set our sights a little higher: 1) We were not able to find a suitable pizza place on Bridge St., which is sort of surprising and 2) our brunch date for Sunday cancelled on us, leaving us eligible for slightly more expensive fare. With Iron Hill inexplicably featuring two open tables on their patio despite the fact that there was a wait inside, we jumped at the opportunity to dine al fresco.

First on the menu was an order of Loaded Nachos. At first, I was a little disappointed because Iron Hill's version of the dish does not come with salsa, instead going with a pico de gallo to accompany guacamole and a heaping dollop of sour cream. I find that salsa is often more spicy than pico and it does a better job of covering the nachos. It's just a preference. What can I say? This being said, the pico tasted incredibly fresh and the rest of the ingredients - black beans, jalapenos, monterey & cheddar cheeses, and especially the fajita grilled chicken - were supplied in bulk, ensuring that none of the delicious corn nachos were enjoyed in naked fashion. The wife - a major nacho fan - especially reveled in this dish. At one point, I took our kid to the bathroom and the plate was 3/4 full. When I returned from the sojourn, it was as if a gang of passers-by ambled through and joined in the consumption, leaving us with a near-empty plate.

For the main course, I partook in the establishment's House Smoked Pork Sandwich while the wife sampled - this being a pizza site - a Voodoo Chicken Pizza. I can't say enough about the pork sandwich, which I proceeded to take apart with unbridled abandon. The pork was juicy, tender, and ample. The sauce, while not thick, tasted of sugar, molasses, vinegar, tomato, and a bunch of other ingredients I would not be able to identify because I was stuffing my face so fast. They supplied a little extra juice on the side for additional moistening. Obviously, from the sound of my food selections thus far, I am a bit of a health nut. So I went with a salad instead of the fries on this day. It's a side salad, so there is nothing really there to go crazy about, but I will say that I liked their Italian-style house dressing and the fact that there was a lot of it. I hate how often times side salads are served with limited dressing and end up tasting a little dry.

The wife could probably give a better opinion on the Voodoo Chicken pie - which featured bacon, red onion, green bell peppers, smoked gouda, mozzarella, and barbecue sauce - but I did have a couple slices and can attest to its quality. I am automatically going to be a little against a pizza that does not have red sauce. Often, I just don't see the point in such a venture. However, the spicy barbecue sauce of this pie was a quality substitute (personally, I would have liked more of it) and the bell peppers packed a mysteriously powerful punch. The gouda didn't bother me too much and the chicken was a very distinct white. It was clear that Iron Hill uses only the best ingredients in the makings of their pies. Throw in a great crust - perfect texture and thick while not being doughy - and you have a wonderful pizza from a place for whom you would not think the dish would be a specialty. It made me excited to get back there and try the red sauce pie.
Of course, there is nothing like a beer in the open air and there was no way I was going to nosh at Iron Hill without indulging in one or two of their sudsy spirits (as I'm sure you realize, it is the entire reason I put the idea of eating at Iron Hill in my wife's head). The first beer I ordered was Ironbound Ale, a pale ale of amber color. When I first lifted it to my lips, I picked up a bit of an off-putting smell. However, I suppose bad scent does not always translate to a poor-quality beer. In this case, I would say it translated to an "average" beer. While the item had some hop power, it fell a little bit short in my estimation, so much that I was a little bit bummed that I missed the sheet featuring specials when our very friendly and attentive waitress first came to our table.

When she arrived to take a second beer order, I did not make the same mistake. I jumped at their Saison and I was not disappointed. Boasting a cloudy, golden appearance, the beer packed a variance of flavors. There were subtle Belgian notes, yes, but I also picked up something that resembled raspberry. The fruity vibe was set off by a rustic, earthy taste in the finish. It was a very good beer, and one that left me wishing I had time for more.

But alas - much like our recent sunny weather - visits to drinking establishments when you have kids are fleeting. I was forced to leave Iron Hill before my time, but it's not like I wasn't there long enough to realize that they serve good food and beer that, while it isn't always perfect, definitely leaves you feeling like you would want some more.
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Iron Hill Brewery & Restaurant
130 E. Bridge St.
Phoenixville, PA 19460

Iron Hill Brewery & Restaurant (Phoenixville) on Urbanspoon

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The Pizza Project
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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Growler Wars: Sly Fox vs. Uinta

Two growlers. Two beers. Two frosted glasses. One winner.


Sly Fox Royal Weisse
This beer, which is available in cans (which kind of rules), features a cloudy golden color and a head that dissipates alarmingly quickly, which makes you fear that the beer could be a little flat. But don't be alarmed! Unless you are buying from a rather shady distributor, it should be fine. It's got a fragrant, spicy scent and all the earmarks of a classic Belgian. There's also a hint of orange. Smooth without being overly light.


Uinta Hop Notch IPA
Pours a persistent head and features a subtle hoppy scent. The color lands somewhere between a golden and an amber. The hops are perhaps a bit understated and the finish isn't as clean as would be desired. Can taste notes of grapefruit underneath, but overall the effect is a bit murky. While it isn't watered down, it's missing something that would make it pop.

The Winner
When I do these things, the IPA is always going to have a leg up. I am simply an IPA man. However, the Sly Fox offering was clearly the better beer in this case. With the brewery's goat race event coming up quick, it's a good reminder of how effective their product can be. I will certainly make it a priority to taste one on May 6.
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The Pizza Project
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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Stone Brewing Company Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale

Stone Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale
Losing track of amount of times I went to Whole Foods Plymouth Meeting and accidentally picked up a stout/IPA combo. Still, figured anything by Stone would rule. Was right. Heavy, creamy head like a stout, but fierce, bitey flavor that never lets you forget that you're drinking hoppy beer.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy


Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy
When comedy of errors becomes tragedy: Ordered Goose Island Matilda at Fox & Hound for two-dollar Tuesday draft deal. Was a bottle. Ordered "Lagunitas Seasonal" instead. Waitress brings me this. Drank it. Tastes like horrid combination of lemonade and the stuff you spray on the duster to clean house.
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The Pizza Project
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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Victory Night at Chap's Taproom Offers Familiar Highs and Mysterious Lows

A group of revelers enjoy a fine night at Chap's Taproom.
Beer. Food.

These are two things that will always go well together. Such is the genius behind the beer dinners being offered periodically (and hopefully increasingly often) by Chap's Taproom. The latest featured beer from perhaps Pennsylvania's most vaunted microbrewery, Victory Brewing Company. With a fish as big as this one - and a menu big on both established favorites and less household-namey surprises - you would think success would be a no-brainer. However, on this night, I learned that not only can Victory churn out great beer with the best of them, they are also capable of sending out the occasional dud.

Before we get into the beer and food - you know, the important stuff - let's take care of a few housekeeping items. The night began with an introduction from a regional sales guy. I believe his name was Andy (nice as he was, I could be wrong). He jumped on a mic and told the assembled crowd about Victory, their plans for expansion, their new status as Pattison Avenue mainstays, etc. It was fine, but really there are two things wrong with the series of sentences I just typed. First, never send a salesman to speak at a beer dinner. I don't want to feel like the night is a sales pitch. Send the guy who sweeps up the hop dust if you have to, but don't send a guy who knows more about last quarter's revenue shortages than the production of a fine barleywine. Second, it is my suggestion to Chap's that they unplug the mic for the next beer dinner. Their sound system is somewhat limited (the guy's schpiel was emerging from one large amp that created frequent feedback) and the noise from the bar often obscures what is coming out of the mic. This is OK. A great bar should never feel bad about loud patrons. I'm just saying, forgo the group speech and have the host go table-to-table to discuss the night's offerings, which Andy (if that is his name) did later that night.

Alright, enough of that. Let's move on to the beverages and the sundry foodstuffs: The first beer of the night would go on to be my favorite. Of course, I sort of knew this going in because I've had it and thought it tremendous: Headwaters Pale Ale. It's a very crisp and hoppy beer, one that gives off a terrific earthy quality. It features a color that is somewhere in the middle of golden and amber, and has a wonderful kick of citrus in the conclusion. Being that it was the opening beer, the Headwaters was paired with a cheese sampling that I'm sure was swell, but I did not try any of it. This is no offense to the cheese Chap's put out there for consumption. I just tend not to eat too much cheese unless it's American, squeezed between two grilled pieces of bread, and accompanied by a tangy tomato soup.

The second beer was one that I was incredibly excited for, mostly because I had never had it before, but also because it sounds like something that had to be really stellar. Braumeister Pils Tettnang! How could you go wrong with this one? I'm seeing a pilsner made by a 90-year-old Chinese "brew master" named Tettnang from a recipe left over from the Han Dynasty or something! When you think about how cool that sounds, what you actually got was a bit of a let down. I tasted something a little minty. Something that tasted like banana? But the scent was nonexistent and overall the flavor low. And then there is the matter of sequencing. If I was arranging the menu, I put this baby first. Serve it with the Brie. No way I allow something this light to follow a beer as vibrant as the lovely Headwaters. The course that accompanied it was a grilled chicken flatbread. On paper, that sounds nice, but it did come with a bunch of ingredients that I would choose not to eat if given free run of a menu. Spinach. Eggplant. Mushroom. Hummus. While my wife has done a wonderful job of expanding my palette (thanks, Hon!), these ingredients are not personal favorites. Now, the bread had a delicious garlic and olive oil feel and a fine texture and many of my gripes could be chalked up to personal taste, but I must also say that for a piece that was billed as a "grilled chicken" flatbread, it was a little light on the poultry.

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Going to interrupt this for a minute to say, "Jesus, the Sixers suck!" Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
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Third in the lineup for the night was that most reliable of Victory beers - although Prima Pils is close and Golden Monkey wins on the potency tip - Hop Devil. What can be said about this one at this point that has not been covered more eloquently by others? It's simply a treasure of an East Coast IPA. While it won't blow you away with citrusy, contrasting flavors like Cali Indias, it packs a serious hop wallop (see what I did there?) in both scent and sip. It was also accompanied by the best food dish of the night. I've always found that, of all their food choices, Chap's does their sandwiches the best and the BBQ short rib sliders they served on this night were no exception. The beef was soaked in a sugary, molasses-like (but not too much) sauce and they served two for the course. At first, I thought perhaps the servings were a little light on the incredible sauce, but they were nice enough to leave out extras. On my second go-round with these sandwiches, I got one that was even more to my liking. As the last bits of barbecue sauce went dripping to my second empty plate, I found myself making a mental note: "See if this is on the menu next time you stop in."

One of my dinner companions on this night couldn't stop talking about the fourth beer. He said he went out of his way to pick it up any time he saw it out on the town. Apparently, he wasn't joking. Because on this night, he somehow figured out a way to finagle not one, but two glasses of Mad King Weiss. Luckily, we didn't get thrown the f*ck out for his unmitigated greed. The wheat beer had a significant Belgian spicing and a fragrant scent. It was a more subtle Golden Monkey. Would I choose it over Golden Monkey? Well, no. But I am not always the biggest fan of subtlety. Served with the beer was two thick blackened fish tacos. Quite frankly, I was a little scared by this course for two reasons. First, the last time I had fish tacos, I got a slight case of mercury poisoning (I will be nice and not skewer the establishment that served me these swimmers in this review) and second, it didn't seem like an incredibly "Chap's" food item. But I have to say they got the fish tacos on the money. Every element was pretty much nailed. The tilapia itself was thick not flimsy and featured a perfect amount of blackening. The hard taco, which I feared would fall apart, leaving me with a crumbly, sloppy mess, was solid and held up to repetitive chomping. Even the sauce, which I thought was a little light on spice on the surface, rallied with a considerable kick. The cilantro sour cream and pico de gallo made for nice elements that helped tie the whole piece together, like Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski's rug.

The tacos served as an awesome set-up man, but unfortunately I would have to say that the closer on this evening, while certainly not blowing the game, had a bit of a rocky outing. The German maibock St. Boisterous was a nice tone-down beer, nothing more. Now, on a night when you will eventually have to drive home (after one more Headwaters and another beer I'm forgetting at this time), I suppose a light closer is fine, but this beer didn't do it for me. There were ample malts and a slight smokiness, but even at 7.3% ABV, it felt light for this Irishman. Too subtle. Too limited in flavor. Not a fan. And, in case I have not yet blown my Chap's VIP status with that, I might as well go for broke, right? I wasn't gaga over the pork loin medallions over egg noodles wrap-up. While the pasta was well prepared, the creamy sauce was a little bland and in need of seasoning. Plus, it had mushrooms! Sure, Chap's is not in possession of my meal specifications, nor would they be obligated to stick to them if they had the list, but I simply can't abide all those mushrooms. I hate their taste and I hate their slimy texture. Yuk! (Note: I have had them in brownies though and the effect was splendiferous.) The pork medallions were very good though, even if I do have in my notes that the pork pieces were a little too big (I guess I was feeling too lazy to go pick up a knife).

All in all, the night was another success. I left the establishment excited for the next time they announce a beer dinner (Yard's anyone?). But then again this should not be a shocker. After all, I am a big fan of beer and food.
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The Pizza Project
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Saturday, April 14, 2012

Tale of the Pie: Vinnie's Pizza

A lot of people think that running a pizza blog is all glory because it means that you get to eat pizza all the time. And true, it is nice. This being said, there is a great deal of curse that comes along with that blessing.

For instance, trying new pies is a bit overrated. Don't you think I would rather just go to the incredibly reliable Charlie's Pizzeria every time I want pizza. I'd get delicious and abundant sauce! Melty, fresh cheese! A thick, foldable, ideally textured crust. Spicy, tangy pepperoni! It would be great! But no, the object of this blog is to search for the "perfect pie." That means, we can't just go to Charlie's every time. If there is something better out there, we want to find it. The quest has brought us many culinary rewards. And it has brought us many disappointments.

That brings me to Vinnie's Pizza in Oaks. We saw it one day when we were driving down into Phoenixville. Seemed like a place we should try. Situated in a slightly isolated spot on Egypt Road, it had a very nice little outdoor eating area. While we were not able to take advantage of that on this cold early spring evening, we were able to find a seat in their somewhat small dining area with tables bedecked with homey plastic picnic-style table clothes.

The Freezer Case: Safeway Select Five Cheese Pepperoni

I was a little worried by the freezer pie options the wife was presenting me with the other day. It was either this one, which came in a plain black box that made it look somewhat low-rent, or a version by Kashi. Well, when you give me the choice between [BLANK] and Kashi, you know I'm going with [BLANK]. In retrospect, this was a brilliant freaking decision.

I can honestly say that the Safeway Select frozen is the best freezer case pie I have ever had. Right out of the oven, it just looks good. While most pies look thin and fragile, this one had the width of a typical Domino's pie. Not like something you will get at a pizza store, but you don't feel like you are going to have to eat a half-hour later either. Plus, the cheese looks bubbly and the sauce is popping out from underneath.

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Fegley's Brew Works Monkey Wrench Saison Ale

Fegley's Brew Works Monkey Wrench Saison Ale
When I first picked up this 22-ouncer, looked at bottom. Filmy substance floating around worried me. Was either packed with flavor or it was skunked. Almost went with Victory Hop Wallop. Leapt faithfully. Beautiful, hazy golden color. Splendid, lemony spicing. Thinner than highest-echelon Belgians, but contains sizeable pop.
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The Pizza Project
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Friday, April 13, 2012

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Full Pint Brewing Company Chinookie IPA

Full Pint Chinookie IPA
Wasn't nice to buy Pittsburgh beer while Flyers take on Penguins in NHL playoffs. Oh well. Never liked hockey. Don't like sports with players whose names I can't pronounce. I was paid back though. Stale, musty smell. Dark, murky color. Hops subtle and overwhelmed by harsh flavor. Aftertaste. Poor experience.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Lagunitas Imperial Red Ale

Lagunitas Imperial Red Ale
When hitting the beer store, first name I'm looking for is Lagunitas. Was starting to fear that I'd tried everything I could get on East Coast. Saw this today. Hallelujah! Beautiful amber color. Perfect balance of hops and malt. Glad I have five more to devour.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Samuel Adams Whitewater IPA

Samuel Adams Whitewater IPA
Latest from brewery that's turning around my opinion of them. Has major hop flavor and citrusy kick in finish. Might be a bit of a miss because it's supposed to be hybrid IPA/white and I'm getting mostly IPA. Still, despite muddy color, would give most East Coast IPAs trouble.
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The Pizza Project
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Time for a Random List: The Rolling Stones Best Of I Would Want to Down a Sixpack To

Album 1, Side A
1. "Rocks Off"
2. "Jumpin' Jack Flash"
3. "Sympathy for the Devil"
4. "She's a Rainbow"
5. "Brown Sugar"

Album 1, Side B
1. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction"
2. "When the Whip Comes Down"
3. "Can't You Hear Me Knockin'"
4. "Loving Cup"
5. "It's Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It)"

Album 2, Side A
1. "Start Me Up"
2. "Street Fighting Man"
3. "Midnight Rambler"
4. "Tumblin' Dice"
5. "Dead Flowers"

Album 2, Side B
1. "Bitch"
2. "Honky Tonk Woman"
3. "Miss You"
4. "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
5. "Gimme Shelter"
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The Pizza Project
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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Best of the Philly Beer Scene

If you like good beer and you live in or near Philly, you've probably read Philly Beer Scene. Their annual Best Of Awards is now open for voting. It's a quick survey and may even give you some ideas for new beer bars to hit or brews to try. And if you you happen to write in our very own Saucy McGilliguddy as the Best Beer Writer, well, we certainly wouldn't object.

Best of the Philly Beer Scene >>

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The Pizza Project
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Monday, April 9, 2012

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Harp Lager


Harp Lager
Leaving brother's house on Easter, I was struck with fear! "What if I ran outta beer before epic night of Justified (OnDemand), Game of Thrones, and Mad Men?" Grabbed Harp Lager out of fridge for later consumption. Typical, bland big-box lager. (You can close your mouth now, Gift Horse!)
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Magic Hat Brewing Company Circus Boy Hefeweizen


Magic Hat Circus Boy Hefeweizen
The other night, told Fegley Brew Works Twitter team that we'd buy their triple IPA Hop'solutely as thanks for following us. In beer store the other day, I see it. It was $12.99. This one? $8.99. Went cheap. Got what I paid for. Muddy color. Vaguely citrusy taste. Not good.
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The Pizza Project
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Ten Things I'm Hating...RIGHT NOW!!!

1) FX’s OnDemand Policy – I missed Justified last Tuesday. “No problem! I’ll catch it on Thursday!” Wrong! For some inexplicable reason, the channel did not make the show available for OnDemand viewing for five days after the original airing. What good reason could there possibly be for making sure that people CAN’T see your programming?

2) My iPod Headphones – Steve Jobs did some wonderful things during his life. He redefined the way we can listen to and store our music. He was the genius behind Pixar, which contributed such great films as Up, Toy Story, and the ones with Larry the Cable Guy. He made black mock turtlenecks and acid-washed jeans cool (no he didn’t; he basically dressed like a douchenozzle 24/7). But if there is one thing he did that was really awesome, it was that he had his people design the perfect headphones. The ear bud is a model of perfection. Lately, I have bought two brands of headphones from different companies and let me say that the Sony variety emerges from the ears with the slightest of winds (the other one I have already forgotten after I realized that I was only getting audio out of one channel after five days of use). Next time I head to the store, I will be coughing up the bucks for a decent set. And no, I am not talking about the Dr. Dre ones that look like you are trying to land airplanes.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Bear Republic Red Rocket Ale



Bear Republic Red Rocket Ale
As I write, I'm listening to the Rolling Stones' Exile on Main Street. Are there any beers that would taste bad while taking in such gritty, dirty, devilish audio? I taste hops. I taste oranges. I taste smoky malt. Just spent 30 seconds inhaling it. Another treasure from the CA.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Anchor Brewing Company Bock Beer


Anchor Bock Beer
Full disclosure: I'm one beer writer that doesn't know THAT MUCH about beer. I just tread water enough to not look stupid. But anyone want to tell me what the bock beer/goat connection is? Not feeling this beer. Extremely malty, uber-caramel scent. Sour, vinegary taste. Slightly offensive.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Fegley's Brew Works Always Sunny Pale Ale


Fegley's Brew Works Always Sunny Pale Ale

Fegley's six-pack reads: "Support your local brewery." Pet peeve. No guilt trips! Whether it's beer, arugula, or another product, I'm not supporting companies because we're both Pennsylvania-based. I'll support this beer because of its hoppy aroma, its powerful finish, and a crisp feel that rewards session drinking.
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The Pizza Project
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Thursday, April 5, 2012

The 2012 Philadelphia Phillies: A Most Likely Overly Optimistic Preview

Chase Utley’s career trajectory is plummeting faster than Rick Santorum’s chances to snag the Republican nomination!

Ryan Howard’s ACL surgery was apparently performed by Jared from Subway, who did the stitching with one hand while downing a Chicken Teriyaki with the other.
With the lineup reeling from a lack of pop, Ruben Amaro went out and spent $50 million on…a closer with an affinity for late-game chicken and beer.

The opening-day five-hole hitter is Ty Wigginton, some guy who I believe was recruited from a South Jersey slow-pitch softball league.
And for some ungodly reason, David Herndon and Kyle Kendrick are still on this team!

Yes, all is ominous in the skies above Citizens Bank Park. It’s enough to make you think that the Phillies may be in for a major plummet from the National League division cat bird’s seat that they have held for five straight years all the way down to fourth behind the big-spending Miami Marlins, the always-pesky Atlanta Braves, and the fast-emerging Washington Nationals. Well, feel free to jump ship if you like, but I have the Phillies winning 94 games and putting the division on lock for another year.
And why is that?

Roy Halladay.
Cliff Lee.

Cole Hamels.

Vance Worley (this one could make me look like a moron, but, screw it, I like the guy).
Do you think the Phillies did not see this coming? Do you think they didn’t see Placido Polanco breaking down like that ’92 station wagon you just kept driving because the seats were so comfortable? Hell, even if Ryan Howard was healthy, his production has been sliding for years. Just like Chase Utley may never be able to round second again without risking leg destruction on par with that of the ill-fated Barbaro, Howard will never return to the colossus who cranked 58 homers without breaking a sweat.

This is why you go get a Roy Halladay. You could put the Phillies ace on the mound and surround him by the Pittsburgh Pirates’ single-A squad. He is going to get his 19 wins out of sheer determination and will.

As for Cliff Lee, this is why you don’t run your team by listening to the idiots calling Philadelphia’s talk radio stations. If one were to judge by listening to Wally from Wilkes-Barre or whatever, the Phillies should have tossed Lee to the highest bidder this off-season. “Got two or three guys who are willing to carry the veterans’ donuts in Clearwater this spring training? We’ll give you one of the best lefthanders in the game for them.” Sorry, but you don’t dump a guy for having one lackluster outing – no matter how high-profile – unless you are prepared to end up looking like an idiot when he is throwing 30+ shutout innings for someone else while you have Joe Blanton struggling to hold down his spot in the rotation. (Note: Don’t get me wrong. I was – and still am – pissed at Lee for blowing that lead against the Cardinals. Getting raked by Ryan Theriot and Skip Schumaker? You have to be kidding me! This is a huge year for him and he better represent, especially in the playoffs.)
Then, there is Cole Hamels. Is there any doubt that Cole is going for 20 wins this year? Matt Freaking Cain just got 20 mills over five years from the San Francisco Giants. If Cole can put up two dimes in a walk year, he will be in the market for a summer home in Dubai. Plus, he will finally be able to afford that much-needed voice transplant surgery. Give him a voice like Brittney Griner's and you will have a man more feared then Stalin at this enemy-assassinating peak.

The major question is Worley. Was last year a fluke? Will opposing batters no longer be transfixed by his Mohawk-and-goggle routine, thus allowing them to concentrate on whaling his upper-80s fastball into the stratosphere? Will he suffer from the fact that he is no longer going up against the other team’s fifth starter every outing? Oh wait, he was usually going up against the fourth starter last year since Roy Oswalt spent most of the season clearing brush below the Mason-Dixon Line. Anyway, as I have said, I am a fan of Worley’s. I like his moxie. I like his competitiveness. I like the way he storms off the mound after a big strikeout. I like the way his curveball drops off the table when it is really on. I like the way he is always talking to the one fellow of Asian descent in the dugout (I don’t know who he is; a trainer or something?). And most importantly, I like the way he “hides the ball.” Actually, I have no idea what “hides the ball” means. But I am going to put him down for 16 wins anyway.

Is this year’s offense going to be a feared juggernaut? Clearly not. This being said, I do not believe they are without strengths and I fully believe that they will – while frustrating us often with their inability to get two or three guys to cross the plate – squeeze out enough runs to keep the win column fully stocked. This year, we get a full season of Hunter Pence. He’s got two years before he can go on the free agent market for the contract that will set him up for life, like the bearded bozo who currently plays for the Washington Nationals. Something tells me he will work extra hard to transfer some of the fireworks he sets off during batting practice to the part of the day that actually counts. Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins will continue to be Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins. In other words, they will come up with some big hits when they are not popping up to the second basemen while swinging at a first-pitch fastball at their eyebrows.

I know that John Mayberry has struggled. But I fully believe he will bounce back during the summer months and make very decent strides toward becoming a passable major league starting outfielder. Why do I believe this? Duh! The ball retrievers in Clearwater were actually Hooters girls in tight white halters and orange Lycra short shorts. You wouldn’t be concentrating on squaring up the barrel either. At least not in that way.
There is also the fact that, although you may not believe it based on the average Phillies fan’s level of hysteria, Ryan Howard and Chase Utley are not in fact dead as Osama bin Laden’s shark-bait corpse. No, they will return at some point and offer some offensive stats, no matter how meager and unworthy-of-their-salary they may be.
And finally, I make these three statements and I will completely stand by them:
1) Juan Pierre will revive his career by stealing 70 bags as the Phillies part-time leadoff hitter.

2) Tyjimlaynce Nixinthome will combine to hit 40 home runs and drive in 100 ribbies as sluggers off the pine.
3) Freddy Galvis will launch his future Hall of Fame career by smacking 30 doubles and exhibiting the grace of a young Fred Astaire while manning the middle of the infield on both sides of the bag.

Now that I have gotten that out of my system, please hold on for an hour while I allow the Ecstasy I imbibed 15 minutes ago to suitably wear off.
(60 minutes later)

Wow, the lights look soooooooo briiiiiiiight! And that 300-pound lady looks soooooooo beauuuuuuutiful! Anybody got any old Paul Oakenfold records I can dance to while looking like a crazed Tourette’s victim?
(240 more minutes later)

Phewww, why am I so sweaty? OK, what was I saying? Right. I think the hitting will be decent enough to win the Phillies a very respectable number of games. The bullpen may not thrill me, but it isn’t going to be flushing games down the toilet like cocaine when the cops show up either. Chad Qualls will serve as a perfect innings-eater on the nights when Joe Blanton pitches. When we have non-scrubs toeing the rubber, you most likely will only need three pitchers at most. Once fully healthy, Michael Stutes will build on a solid 2011 campaign that saw him fading down the stretch. Antonio Bastardo also saw his game lilting as the season went on last year, but I love his stuff when he is on. Maybe I am crazy, but if Jose Contreras can get healthy, there is no one I would rather give the ball to face a tough righty (Ok, terrible cliché there; I would rather give it to Tim Lincecum or the Hideo Nomo of my childhood, but you get the point). And then of course, you have the closer. Jonathan Papelbon! He wasn’t paid 50 million to blow games. Get the ball in his hands up one run and you might as well put it in the books. (Oh wait, he blew a save against the Orioles in game 162 last year, costing the Red Sox a playoff berth. Gulp. That’s OK though. He probably had a Chik-Fil-A Spicy Chicken Deluxe going cold in the clubhouse.)
Before I close, a word about the National League East: The Miami Marlins have picked up some big-time pieces. Jose Reyes. Mark Buehrle. Loud-mouth manager Jose Guillen. Add that to already-in-place studs like Josh Johnson, Hanley Ramirez, and whatever Mike Stanton is calling himself these days, and you have one heck of a roster. But there are also serious egos there. They will take time to mesh (if they ever do). When was the last time Jose Reyes helped a team win anything? Also, I have checked the books and no team has ever won a division while playing in a stadium that looks like something Frank Lloyd Wright would have vomited up while late-night-partying with Ricky Martin in Havana.

How about the Washington Nationals? They have quietly amassed some serious talent. On the mound, they boast two big-time arms in Stephen Strasburg and Gio Gonzalez. If he stays healthy after Tommy John surgery, count on Strasburg for big strikeout numbers, 17-18 wins, and a heaping helping of ballpark electricity. They also have an intriguing mix of established talent (Ryan Zimmerman, Xavier Nady, Michael Morse) and young ballers on the make (Wilson Ramos, Danny Espinosa, Ian Desmond). Still, something tells me that these guys are still a year away from legitimate contention. Something also tells me that Jayson Werth will continue to suck like a Beltway hooker offering a special two-for-one deal for publicly uptight yet privately hedonistic Republican slimeball hypocrites.
Finally, there’s the Atlanta Braves and the New York Mets. When you talk about these teams…oh, forget it. These teams aren’t worth talking about. Chipper Jones and Tim Hudson are on the way to the scrap heap and the Mets hold about as much significance as the pile of fecal matter I scraped off my shoe after taking my dog on a leash-restrained sojourn last night. That’s right. The bastard made me wear a leash.

So there you have it. The Phillies forecast for 2012. A lack of runs, a large amount of wins, and a veritable motherlode of angst. As Hunter S. Thompson would say, “Buy the ticket. Take the ride…”*
*…and enjoy a second-round playoff departure. Sorry. We have Pete Orr on our team. You have to be realistic.
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The Pizza Project
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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Tale of the Pie: Vic & Dean's

Located as it is at the end of a seeming dead end at the edge of a park in Wayne, Pa., Vic & Dean’s is not the easiest pizza shop to find. However, once you get a taste of their pizza, you will discover that any effort you put into arriving at the establishment’s doors will be justly rewarded.

Vic & Dean’s is a rather small, quaint place. Décor is at a minimum, with decorations being limited to either Phillies memorabilia (a lot of pizza places like the Phillies, I guess) or kudos from various regional publications. There are maybe four or five tables inside, most of which were in constant use during our stay. The eight or so people behind the counter (it seemed like a little much, but it resulted in wonderful service) were busy answering phones for take-out and there was also a delivery man coming in and out on a regular basis. The place was obviously popular.

We started our meal with a salad, or, as Vic & Dean’s would call it, a Pizalad. To be honest, the name is a bit of a tease. When we ordered it, we thought we would be getting a salad on a pizza crust. Would that be way too much food? Probably. But it would also be unique and we just had to see what it would look like. When it emerged, it was nothing like we imagined. It was a sizeable salad in a plastic container, and it came with about four slices of warm pizza crust. While we were bummed that the presentation did not match our expectations, there is no doubting that the salad itself was tremendous. We ordered a Caesar, which came with romaine, croutons, sharp provolone, and Caesar dressing (truth be told, it also came with egg, but I asked for it off since I’m not a fan). The cheese was flavorful, the Romaine fresh and crunchy, and the dressing rich and spicy. While it was ample, we easily knocked back the entire thing.

For the pie, we ordered a large with red and green roasted peppers. The pie’s crust was perfect; its texture was crisp, but not too rigid. It also had a buttery garlic taste that popped tremendously. It should be said there were parts toward the middle that became a little soggy due to the weight of the cheese and the toppings. It made folding a little difficult at times and it did get a little sloppy in parts as well.

As for the cheese, it was very flavorful and gooey. You could taste the freshness. Spicy Hawaiian, who is a bit more of a cheese aficionado than I am, stated that she believed it was not just mozzarella; that it was a blend of cheeses. She also liked that it was a decent amount of cheese, but that it didn’t take over the pie. It still worked well with the other elements.
We had heard great things about the establishment’s toppings from a publication that we really have to stop naming until they decide to buy advertising or something. Well, although we were bound by religious contract to not eat meat on this day, the peppers were outstanding. They were roasted exquisitely . They were not overdone. There was the ideal amount of charring and they tasted of olive oil. Also, there was plenty of them. Not one bite was taken that did not include a delicious bit of vegetation.

If there is one element of the pie that I would take slight issue with, it would be the sauce. It was a thick sauce that was going for authentic tomato flavor. There seemed to be not much in the way of sugar or extra seasonings. I can respect that. This is not the case of a pizza establishment botching the number one element of the pie (in my view). They clearly have a philosophy about their sauce and they have most likely executed it to a tee. To me, it is simply that when you are boasting incredible toppings, zesty cheese, and an ideal crust, it is inevitable that a sauce this basic is going to fall into the background a bit. If I were to go back (and I hope to), I would probably order extra sauce. That way, the understated sauce would have a little bit more of a fighting chance against the other parts.

There is no doubt: Vic & Dean’s is a bit of a chore to get to. But do what it takes to get there. This is definitely an occasion where good things come to those who program their GPSs.
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Pros: Tasty, perfectly prepared toppings, flavorful, fresh cheese; crust has great texture and olive oil taste
Cons: Sauce has tendency to fall into the background a little bit; really need to get some truth in advertising going for that salad
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Vic & Dean’s
409 N. Wayne Ave.
Wayne, PA 19087
Vic & Dean's on Urbanspoon

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Tale of the Pie: Pizza Palace

The people at Bryn Mawr's Pizza Palace were really nice. The girl at the counter could not stop fawning over our kid. She asked him how old he was. She couldn't stop saying how cute he looked. If we wouldn‘t have thought it was vaguely psychotic, she probably would have pinched his cheeks a little. Generally, she was just an all-around sweetheart. It's people like this that make it really enjoyable to go out to eat.

It's also people like this who make it hard to tell you about a really mediocre pie.