The Freezer Case: Safeway Select Five Cheese Pepperoni

I was a little worried by the freezer pie options the wife was presenting me with the other day. It was either this one, which came in a plain black box that made it look somewhat low-rent, or a version by Kashi. Well, when you give me the choice between [BLANK] and Kashi, you know I'm going with [BLANK]. In retrospect, this was a brilliant freaking decision.

I can honestly say that the Safeway Select frozen is the best freezer case pie I have ever had. Right out of the oven, it just looks good. While most pies look thin and fragile, this one had the width of a typical Domino's pie. Not like something you will get at a pizza store, but you don't feel like you are going to have to eat a half-hour later either. Plus, the cheese looks bubbly and the sauce is popping out from underneath.

The Freezer Case: Open Nature Uncured Pepperoni Pizza

Wednesdays are a rough day for me. I go to work, put in a hard day's labor, and, when I return to the homefront, I am handed a kid and Spicy sets off to gallivanting about town (actually, it's just a pilates class). Since I am inept in the culinary department, this means that I do not get to eat until at least 8 p.m. Factor in the time for a Saucy Jr. bath if the need happens to fall on one of these days, and by the time I am set to dine on Hump Day, I can eat just about anything.

However, if given the option, I would prefer that I not be asked to eat an "Open Nature" frozen pizza.

The Freezer Case: Archer Farms Pepperoni Thin Crust Pizza

While recovering from the all-out celebration in honor of my little sister's wedding (congrats Ellio!), we kept things pretty simple meal-wise this weekend. So we picked up an Archer Farms Pepperoni Thin Crust Pizza from Target for only $3.75 (on sale and had a coupon).

Overall, it was a very good pie. Plenty of smoky, slightly spicy pepperoni, both sliced and julienned. An ample amount of robust sauce, even according to Saucy's standards. The toppings were spread all the way to the edge, leaving very little naked crust. This was a good thing, because the crust was the one weak point. A little too thin, a bit cardboardy and it crunched like a Ritz cracker.

Even with the bunk crust, we'd get this one again ... especially at that price!

The Freezer Case: The Nardone Bros. Pizza

It has been a while since there was a review from the freezer case. Here's one to avoid if possible. When first opening the box my first words were "It looks like Ellio's." Could that have been further from the truth. What I wasn't aware of was that the cheese was not mozzarella but instead american. No where on the box did it say it was american other than on the nutritional facts label. What a disaster. As you bit into a slice the cheese would clump and stick to the top of your mouth and teeth. The cheese was so distracting that I can't even comment on the sauce. Even loading my slices with hot sauce did not make it any more enjoyable. Oh how I wish it was Ellio's.

The Freezer Case: California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust Hawaiian Pizza

My wife would gladly tell you (if you didn't already know) that I write way too long for the blog format. I know. I am really impressed with my own wit and it drives me to be a little verbose. I want to remedy this, however, and I thought I would begin (and probably end) with this post.

It's about the California Pizza Kitchen Hawaiian Pizza, frozen variety. And, well, everything about it was wack. The crust was crunchy and tasteless. The sauce was bland and practically nonexistent, so we had to freshen it with some tomato sauce of our own. The cheese was nondescript and a little clumpy. Then they went ahead and skimped on the ham-and-pineapple toppings, which I thought was kind of weak. But once I thought about it, the toppings were no good, so who really cares? In short, there is absolutely nothing good about the California Pizza Kitchen's frozen Hawaiian pie.