When a frozen pizza just izn't enough ...

Include some boneless wings in the same box.

Oh, did I write wings? I meant wyngs. Uh, yeah. Do I even want to look at the ingredient list for those?

Well DiGiorno, I've got two things for you:

First, your pizza has never been and will never be as good as delivery. Let's be honest, even the most gourmet frozen pie with the finest ingredients will never be as good as a fresh pie from a local pizzeria. Really, even a pizza delivered from a chain spot - Papa John's, Pizza Hut, even Domino's - is usually going to taste better than a frozen. So your commercials that make that claim have always been a bit absurd. Now this is just taking it to the next level.

However ... I'm guessing you know your target audience, and it just doesn't include me. I like to pretend I'm being health-, cost- and time-conscious by pairing a somewhat wholesome frozen pie with a side salad or some veggies. But for the majority of the U.S. population, some chickenesque nibbles doused in buffalo sauce might be a much more appealing option. Nevermind the zany spelling - or perhaps that makes the duo even more appealing?

Well, folks, if you really aren't craving a side of wyngs with your pizza, you can always opt for the DiGiorno Pizza and Cookies combo.

All aboard ... next stop, fat city!