Five Reasons the Phillies Will Win Game Five (and Five Reasons They Won’t)

1. No way the Phillies lose a series clincher on their home field for the second year in a row! It’s just not happening! The fans will be exceptionally psyched for this one due to the temerity of Jimmy Rollins and the incredibly late starting time. A longer wait equals more beers, which equals drunken nutcases yelling at the top of their lungs. As long as you are not at the game with your five-year-old son, this is a good thing.

2. Roy Halladay is on the mound, and he is actually coming off of what was, for him, a bit of a ho-hum outing. There is no way in hell he gives up runs early, like he did in Game 1 of this series. I’m hoping Lance Berkman enjoyed the dinger he got to clock off of Doc in his first at-bat of the series. This time, he – and the rest of his Cardinals teammates – will get nothing, even if they don’t like it!

What the F!?!?: Phillies Playoff Edition

What the F...was Cliff Lee doing blowing a 4-0 lead against superstars like Ryan Theriot, John Jay, and Rafael Furcal? This is a little bit scary, but in Lee's last three postseason starts, his ERA is over 7.00. And by the way, it could have been much worse. If Placido Polanco did not make an incredible play at third base in the first inning, the Cardinals add another run to their total. Same holds for when Carlos Ruiz held on to the ball despite being utterly flattened by a cheap-shotting Jay on a play at the plate in the fourth.

What the F...was umpire Jerry Meals doing behind the plate in a playoff game? This is the same guy who called a Braves runner safe at home plate earlier in the season despite the fact that he was clearly out by ten feet in an extra-inning game against the Pirates. It's living proof that there is simply no accountability on the part of baseball for the walking disgraces that are calling the balls and strikes in some of these games. Exhibit B, Joe West, is working the Brewers-Diamondbacks series this October.