Frankford Hall: A Real Good Time Despite Insane Heat Lamps

As a kid who was born in Fishtown, moved somewhat quickly, but still has a ton of family in the area, I can definitely say that I did not see the influx of hipsters coming. But now that they have been there for a while, I feel a bit of a need to thank them for the slew of great bars they have brought along in their wake. First it was Johnny Brenda's, which is not only a very good bar, serving local standout brews, but also a pretty good spot to catch a band (I saw the Ting Tings there; they were outstan-Ting). Then it was Memphis Taproom, a place cool enough to host a kid's day during Beer Week so that me and Spicy Hawaiian were able to kill exotic cans in their beer garden while our toddler watched some weird lady break it down Raffi-style on her acoustic ax. Finally, Barcade came along, with its wicked combo of 80s and early-90s era video games and a superb selection of national microbrews.

So when I heard that my cousin was having his bachelor party at Stephen Starr's Fishtown outpost Frankford Hall, I was definitely psyched. (Full disclosure: OK, this was not the actual bachelor party. That was at Daydreams (yeah, probably not cool for me to link this; sorry, fellas). However, I boycotted that because I am not willing to pay an exorbitant cover charge to get into a place to see breasts that I am not only not allowed to touch, but would receive a severe beating if I had the temerity to accidentally rub up against.)

I really didn't know what to expect as I drived to the place. For wahtever reason, I thought it would be a huge expanse in some old abandoned parking lot or something. But actually it was very well built into the area's urban landscape. After walking into the place and navigating the two fellows who were there to check my I.D. even though I usually feel like I am the age of Tony Hopkins, I spied a large heavily populated bar on the left and a series of tables for dining. On the right was a ping-pong table, which was kind of odd. Not because there was a ping-pong table in a bar. No, that seems like exactly the kind of thing hipsters would want to do whilst swilling suds. It was simply funny because I was hitting the spot at 8 p.m., it was getting dark, and the table was completely underlit, making it impossible for the players to see such a small bouncing sphere. Of course, this made perfect sense as I assumed they were just swinging the paddles to look cool anyway.

As I made my way out to the courtyard, I spied my "homies" at one of the establishment's many communal tables, designed so people will be forced to make new friends. Basically, my worst nightmare. But it was nice. It had been a slightly rainy night, but the open-air area was still somewhat packed. Being that it was a tad bit nippy, I had dressed warmly: flannel shirt, cardigan, Chucks with athletic socks, fingerless gloves that I planned to keep on no matter how hot I got because I just thought it looked cool. However, despite the slightly chilly temperatures, the place felt a bit like a sauna. This is because of the heating lamps, which seemed to be operating at wildly disparate levels. While some were letting out a little bit of a blue flame, the one nearest us was spilling out heat in the manner of Sherman doing his best to completely eradicate Atlanta, Ga. In the heat department, the camp fire in the middle of the courtyard, which customers are able to roast Smores over if they buy them for a minimal price, probably didn't help either, but I did enjoy how it sent me home smelling like I had just spent the evening camping in the forest instead of downing beers in the city of my youth. Seriously, I spent half of the next day sniffing my attire.

And what of the beers I consumed? Well, I certainly wasn't taking notes at a Fishtown bachelor party if that is what you are wondering. I will simply tell you that they were affordable enough for people who are used to spending way too much at metropolitan night spots and they were available in 16-ounce and 1-liter sizes. Since I can't imagine what the last sip of even the best one-liter beer would taste like, I went with the smaller ones. The first beer I had was Eliot Ness Amber Lager by Great Lakes Brewing Company. It was very good. The second was Hofbrau Sommer. It was very good. The third I had was Victory Prima Pils. That was very good, too. But then again, when you are drinking beers with your cousin who is about to get married, hanging out with good men you rarely get to see other than at momentous events, and getting served by unusually attractive ladies with massive amounts of tattoos, it usually tastes very good.

I cannot vouch for the food at Frankford Hall. I didn't have any. The truth is that the menu mostly consists of sausages and I don't really love sausage that much. Also, I forgot that I was hungry due to all of the "hipster-gawking" I was doing. (Actually, the truthier truth is that I was saving my money in case I wimped out of saying "No" to the strip club and had to spend my evening giving women money for baring their lady parts and pretending that they found me remotely sexy.)

All in all, in the two or so hours I spent at Frankford Hall, I had a wonderful time. But how could you not? There's beer, ping pong, beer, a couple ladies in lederhosen, beer, gigantic pretzels with cheese sauce, beer, heat lamps that could render the Antarctic a gargantuan puddle, beer, and a band that featured an accordion, a tuba, and a jug player (can't believe I forgot to mention them!). Basically, it's hipster nirvana and I can't wait to go back on a nice, sunny day because...dude, wait 'til you see my rockin' Fear in Loathing in Las Vegas tee!
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Frankford Hall
1210 Frankford Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19125



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Booze...in 200 Words or Less: Victory Brewing Company Saison du BUFF

Victory Saison Du BUFF
Was at Whole Foods - near childrens' play area of all places - when I spied cases of this collaborative beer with Stone and Dogfish Head being stored. Asked personnel if they new when it would be available. They didn't. Checked website two days later. There it was, not only in bottles, but also ON DRAFT! Grabbing my growler, I headed out for a fill-up! The growler guy was a real winner. Here, I thought there was just one version of the beer, but it turns out that the esteemed breweries collaborated on the recipe, and then all three were able to go off and use the ingredients in the way they saw fit. After tasting this, I would be very excited to taste the Stone and Dogfish Head versions - Stone being a brewer that I would see as superior to Victory and Dogfish Head being one that I would probably describe as inferior by a slim margin. Victory's features some seriously dry, piney notes; a rustic, wheaty, almost flowery scent; and a picture-perfect golden color. Drinks like a light (yet complex), smooth specimen, but packs a fairly serious punch.
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Victory Night at Chap's Taproom Offers Familiar Highs and Mysterious Lows

A group of revelers enjoy a fine night at Chap's Taproom.

Beer. Food.

These are two things that will always go well together. Such is the genius behind the beer dinners being offered periodically (and hopefully increasingly often) by Chap's Taproom. The latest featured beer from perhaps Pennsylvania's most vaunted microbrewery, Victory Brewing Company. With a fish as big as this one - and a menu big on both established favorites and less household-namey surprises - you would think success would be a no-brainer. However, on this night, I learned that not only can Victory churn out great beer with the best of them, they are also capable of sending out the occasional dud.

Before we get into the beer and food - you know, the important stuff - let's take care of a few housekeeping items. The night began with an introduction from a regional sales guy. I believe his name was Andy (nice as he was, I could be wrong). He jumped on a mic and told the assembled crowd about Victory, their plans for expansion, their new status as Pattison Avenue mainstays, etc. It was fine, but really there are two things wrong with the series of sentences I just typed. First, never send a salesman to speak at a beer dinner. I don't want to feel like the night is a sales pitch. Send the guy who sweeps up the hop dust if you have to, but don't send a guy who knows more about last quarter's revenue shortages than the production of a fine barleywine. Second, it is my suggestion to Chap's that they unplug the mic for the next beer dinner. Their sound system is somewhat limited (the guy's schpiel was emerging from one large amp that created frequent feedback) and the noise from the bar often obscures what is coming out of the mic. This is OK. A great bar should never feel bad about loud patrons. I'm just saying, forgo the group speech and have the host go table-to-table to discuss the night's offerings, which Andy (if that is his name) did later that night.

Alright, enough of that. Let's move on to the beverages and the sundry foodstuffs: The first beer of the night would go on to be my favorite. Of course, I sort of knew this going in because I've had it and thought it tremendous: Headwaters Pale Ale. It's a very crisp and hoppy beer, one that gives off a terrific earthy quality. It features a color that is somewhere in the middle of golden and amber, and has a wonderful kick of citrus in the conclusion. Being that it was the opening beer, the Headwaters was paired with a cheese sampling that I'm sure was swell, but I did not try any of it. This is no offense to the cheese Chap's put out there for consumption. I just tend not to eat too much cheese unless it's American, squeezed between two grilled pieces of bread, and accompanied by a tangy tomato soup.

The second beer was one that I was incredibly excited for, mostly because I had never had it before, but also because it sounds like something that had to be really stellar. Braumeister Pils Tettnang! How could you go wrong with this one? I'm seeing a pilsner made by a 90-year-old Chinese "brew master" named Tettnang from a recipe left over from the Han Dynasty or something! When you think about how cool that sounds, what you actually got was a bit of a let down. I tasted something a little minty. Something that tasted like banana? But the scent was nonexistent and overall the flavor low. And then there is the matter of sequencing. If I was arranging the menu, I put this baby first. Serve it with the Brie. No way I allow something this light to follow a beer as vibrant as the lovely Headwaters. The course that accompanied it was a grilled chicken flatbread. On paper, that sounds nice, but it did come with a bunch of ingredients that I would choose not to eat if given free run of a menu. Spinach. Eggplant. Mushroom. Hummus. While my wife has done a wonderful job of expanding my palette (thanks, Hon!), these ingredients are not personal favorites. Now, the bread had a delicious garlic and olive oil feel and a fine texture and many of my gripes could be chalked up to personal taste, but I must also say that for a piece that was billed as a "grilled chicken" flatbread, it was a little light on the poultry.

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Going to interrupt this for a minute to say, "Jesus, the Sixers suck!" Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
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Third in the lineup for the night was that most reliable of Victory beers - although Prima Pils is close and Golden Monkey wins on the potency tip - Hop Devil. What can be said about this one at this point that has not been covered more eloquently by others? It's simply a treasure of an East Coast IPA. While it won't blow you away with citrusy, contrasting flavors like Cali Indias, it packs a serious hop wallop (see what I did there?) in both scent and sip. It was also accompanied by the best food dish of the night. I've always found that, of all their food choices, Chap's does their sandwiches the best and the BBQ short rib sliders they served on this night were no exception. The beef was soaked in a sugary, molasses-like (but not too much) sauce and they served two for the course. At first, I thought perhaps the servings were a little light on the incredible sauce, but they were nice enough to leave out extras. On my second go-round with these sandwiches, I got one that was even more to my liking. As the last bits of barbecue sauce went dripping to my second empty plate, I found myself making a mental note: "See if this is on the menu next time you stop in."

One of my dinner companions on this night couldn't stop talking about the fourth beer. He said he went out of his way to pick it up any time he saw it out on the town. Apparently, he wasn't joking. Because on this night, he somehow figured out a way to finagle not one, but two glasses of Mad King Weiss. Luckily, we didn't get thrown the f*ck out for his unmitigated greed. The wheat beer had a significant Belgian spicing and a fragrant scent. It was a more subtle Golden Monkey. Would I choose it over Golden Monkey? Well, no. But I am not always the biggest fan of subtlety. Served with the beer was two thick blackened fish tacos. Quite frankly, I was a little scared by this course for two reasons. First, the last time I had fish tacos, I got a slight case of mercury poisoning (I will be nice and not skewer the establishment that served me these swimmers in this review) and second, it didn't seem like an incredibly "Chap's" food item. But I have to say they got the fish tacos on the money. Every element was pretty much nailed. The tilapia itself was thick not flimsy and featured a perfect amount of blackening. The hard taco, which I feared would fall apart, leaving me with a crumbly, sloppy mess, was solid and held up to repetitive chomping. Even the sauce, which I thought was a little light on spice on the surface, rallied with a considerable kick. The cilantro sour cream and pico de gallo made for nice elements that helped tie the whole piece together, like Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski's rug.

The tacos served as an awesome set-up man, but unfortunately I would have to say that the closer on this evening, while certainly not blowing the game, had a bit of a rocky outing. The German maibock St. Boisterous was a nice tone-down beer, nothing more. Now, on a night when you will eventually have to drive home (after one more Headwaters and another beer I'm forgetting at this time), I suppose a light closer is fine, but this beer didn't do it for me. There were ample malts and a slight smokiness, but even at 7.3% ABV, it felt light for this Irishman. Too subtle. Too limited in flavor. Not a fan. And, in case I have not yet blown my Chap's VIP status with that, I might as well go for broke, right? I wasn't gaga over the pork loin medallions over egg noodles wrap-up. While the pasta was well prepared, the creamy sauce was a little bland and in need of seasoning. Plus, it had mushrooms! Sure, Chap's is not in possession of my meal specifications, nor would they be obligated to stick to them if they had the list, but I simply can't abide all those mushrooms. I hate their taste and I hate their slimy texture. Yuk! (Note: I have had them in brownies though and the effect was splendiferous.) The pork medallions were very good though, even if I do have in my notes that the pork pieces were a little too big (I guess I was feeling too lazy to go pick up a knife).

All in all, the night was another success. I left the establishment excited for the next time they announce a beer dinner (Yard's anyone?). But then again this should not be a shocker. After all, I am a big fan of beer and food.
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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Victory Brewing Company Golden Monkey

Victory Golden Monkey
Walking my kid. Neighbor comes out. Carrying beer. "Ever heard of this?" Among a cast of luminaries is GOLDEN MONKEY! "I don't drink this stuff." Dude gives me GOLDEN MONKEY for free. ZIPPO. GRATIS! Fellows with gigantic butterfly nets emerge to take him to undisclosed location. Hall of Fame beverage.

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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Victory Helios Ale

Victory Helios Ale
Bought a 22-ouncer at Whole Foods in Plymouth Meeting for $3.49. An absolute steal. This tremendously distinct saison boasts a golden color, a thick head, and a citrusy, slightly bitter finish. Has a floral, lemony scent and a ginger kick that compares to Hitachino Nest's stellar White Ale.

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The Pizza Project
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Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Victory HopDevil Ale

Victory HopDevil Ale
There's something about a "missed train" beer. You rushed to train. Leaves before you get on. There's a bar nearby. Might as well kill 30 minutes in productive fashion. Which in this case means hitting Tir na Nog for best IPA birthed in Pennsylvania. Amply hopped. Smooth. Easy-drinking.

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The Pizza Project
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Victory Brewing Company Winter Haiku Contest

Looking for a quick diversion during the workday? Write a haiku that mentions Victory or any of its beers and submit it for a chance to win $50 and assorted Victory goodies.

Just send your poem, along with your name, age, phone number, mailing address and T-shirt size to inspired@victorybeer.com by Monday, Jan. 23.

Find more details about the contest at http://victorybeer.com/inspired/.

How do you write a haiku?  With only 17 syllables, in three lines of 5, 7 and 5 respectively. Here's a sample:

Required reading
for pizza and beer lovers
The Pizza Project

You get the point. Good luck!

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The Pizza Project
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Beer, Video Games, Hipsters, BARCADE!

For myself and my friends, there was a time where every Thursday was "Guys Night." We would gather in Jersey and, from there, the town was laid out before us like an ocean leading to the star-strewn horizon. If we wanted to get our crunk on, we would head to South Street's Fluid Nightclub. If we wanted a touch of hipster, it was Northern Liberties' 700 Club for a little old-school rap party. If the college crowd was desired, it was straight to the now-defunct Who's on Third! A little pool, some elbow-to-elbow, and a jukebox with an intriguing roster of artists? Olde City's Sugar Mom's, so nice to see you!

These days, things have changed.

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Victory Festbier

Victory Brewing Company Festbier
Phillies Beer #2: Was in Downingtown area today for 5K. Wifey promised me we could go to Victory Brewpub if I ran. She welched. Uncool. Luckily, had bottle left in the fridge. Fine Oktoberfest beer. Heavy maltiness, hint of caramel, and something that comes across to me like grape.

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The Pizza Project
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Poor Service Spoils a Fine Getaway to Cabanas in Cape May

This Labor Day, we shot down to Wildwood for a family get-together. On one particularly rainy day, the little guy simply did not want to take a nap. So we decided to go for a ride and see if that would help him slip off into Dreamland. To our satisfaction, the ploy worked and a drive around Wildwood quickly turned into an excursion to Cape May. The farthest shore point has always been a favorite of ours and one place where we have had a couple good experiences is Cabanas Beach Bar and Grill. On this day, we decided to stop in and get an appetizer and a couple of drinks before a dinner later that night.

While the vibe of Cabanas may be a bit on the kitschy side, I have always enjoyed it. I like the Caribbean feel of the decor. The Bob Marley tunes blaring out of the speakers really add to a relaxing atmosphere. For our appetizer, we decided to try the Mexican Nachos Grande, a plate of tortilla chips with pulled pork, refried beans, jalapenos, pico de gallo, and other pleasing toppings. I thought the dish worked very well, although I can admit to being a person who prefers a wet salsa to a pico de gallo. I think it works better for dipping and ensuring that your chips are never naked. This slight lack of ingredients was the main complaint of Spicy, who felt there were times when more toppings, especially the pulled pork, could have been in order. For myself, I can say that I did not think this was a major violation on their part. The toppings were a little tough to get to, what with some of them being under the chips, but I did not feel Cabanas was delinquent in their topping distribution. It just required the breaking out of forks and knives at times.

HomeAID for Africa 5K

Looking for a way to lose a few extra pizza pounds? On Sunday, October 2, HomeAID for Africa is hosting its annual 5K run and 1 mile fun walk/run at Westtown School (West Chester, PA) at 3 p.m.

Unlike every other 5K advertisement, I won't tell you that this course is flat and fast ... because it's neither. But it's for a good cause. And unlike the Victory Run, there won't be beer at the finish line. But if you are in the mood for a brew, the race is a mere 20 minutes away from the brewery, so you could always head over there afterwards to toast your finish.

Download the race flyer>>

Booze...in 50 Words or Less: Victory Summer Love Ale

Victory Summer Love Ale
Had this after running a 5K sponsored by Victory Brewing Company earlier this summer. Wasn't that excited about it. Must've been too exhausted. Spurred by its being named Philly Mag's Best Beer, I gave it another shot. It's distinctive and refreshing with a crisp, hoppy bite. Excellent session beverage.

Tale of the Pie: Franzone's Pizzeria

Yes, my grandparents definitely had those same glasses

Another weekend, another Philly Mag "Best Pizza" spot. This time it was Franzone's in Bridgeport, a pizzeria apparently in business since 1955.

Upon arriving at this neighborhood spot with the hubby and nibble, I immediately decided that I would not look around extensively while we wined and dined. That's because I'm a bit of a clean freak, and this place was not up to par. And let's just say that our fellow diners made the Via Veneto's crowd look runway-ready.

When we saw that a half carafe of wine was only $6.95, we couldn't help but order it and laugh about what we might be getting. It ended up being a chilled red, most likely from a Carlo Rossi or Paisano jug. Oh, and two mini, slightly dirty, old-school Italian glasses that I remember being part of my grandparent's glassware collection. Beer is also quite cheap for a decent selection - $3 for a bottle of  Russian River Damnation, Golden Monkey, Prima Pils or Summer Love from Victory, or Dogfish Head Festina Pêche.

Tale of the Pie: Victory Brewing Company

What a day it was on Sunday!

Me and the missus, along with a number of our closest friends and the Little Man in jogging stroller, competed in Victory Brewing Company's Run for Ryan. I think this was some sort of charity, although I have no idea who Ryan is nor what his particular ailment is. All I knew is I was out there to run 3.2 miles, and when the race was finished I would be allowed to drink beer and eat barbecue. Yes, the lady allowed me to break away from my diet for this affair!

So with the lady relegated to the jogging stroller, I busted out of the blocks with Beastie Boys' Hot Sauce Committee Part II blaring! Thanks to my time-honored technique of pretending that masked revolutionaries had kidnapped my dog and threatened to kill him if I began to walk (it got me through the Broad St.), I ran the entire time through wobbly legs and rickety breathing apparatus. In fact, I sprinted the last quarter-mile like a man who would be handed a beer at the end of his toils...since I was. I finished the race in 23:59, pretty much a 7 and a 1/2 minute mile average on the button and good for 115th out of approximately 500 runners. Not bad.

Booze ... in 50 Words or Less: Victory's Whirlwind Witbier

27:27 at the Victory Run for Ryan yesterday. Not bad for a 5K while pushing our 29-pound nibble in the jogging stroller. Even better? Rehydrating with a Whirlwind at the finish. Light, crisp Belgian-style, summery, refreshing.