Kids in My NeighborhoodLast week, I caught some little bastards throwing stones down the mushroom thingie that sits outside my house. You know, the thing that leads to the apparatus that shuttles the waste out of your house? Anywho, I went out there and chased the little MFers away and I thought that was the end of it. Apparently not. Last night, I flush the toilet and sewage water starts flowing into my basement like Niagara Falls. Had to have some dude come out to look at things and he tells me that, indeed, there were stones and mud in the line that toilet paper attached to, and the ensuing cocktail of disgustingness clogged up the line, causing the backup. So I have a bit of a quandary here. Do I have to go to the kids' houses and tell their parents so they can administer proper punishment? Well, the one kid's parents are crack fiends or something while the other's I don't happen to know. Plus, such a move would require me to have to talk to a neighbor, which is something I try to do as rarely as humanly possible. Should I call the cops on the little buggers next time I see them acting the fool? That seems a little extreme. So I guess I will have to handle this situation in the manner that I think is the most humane way possible. I'm simply going to have to kill the rotten sons of biltches.
Stoudt's Pils
Wherein I will buy a variety case and decide what the best beer in it is.
Stone Levitation Ale
Thou Shalt Not Complain about the Festivities – Your work used to take you out on the town for an expensive luncheon at a reputable Italian restaurant. There was a delicious spread and an open bar complete with hard liquor and several different sorts of beers. Now the affair has been downsized to a meeting room in your work’s office. The food is OK, but the drink choices consist of two different wines, an indistinctive red and a run-of-the-mill white, and two different beers that can only be described as “less than shite,” Miller Lite and Yuengling Lager. This is grounds for serious complaint, right? It’s indicative of your company’s lack of appreciation for your daily efforts, yeah? Wrong on both counts. There’s a recession on, man! Take what you are given and be glad your company pays you for checking out movie sites half the damn day.
Miller Lite
Kids in My NeighborhoodLast week, I caught some little bastards throwing stones down the mushroom thingie that sits outside my house. You know, the thing that leads to the apparatus that shuttles the waste out of your house? Anywho, I went out there and chased the little MFers away and I thought that was the end of it. Apparently not. Last night, I flush the toilet and sewage water starts flowing into my basement like Niagara Falls. Had to have some dude come out to look at things and he tells me that, indeed, there were stones and mud in the line that toilet paper attached to, and the ensuing cocktail of disgustingness clogged up the line, causing the backup. So I have a bit of a quandary here. Do I have to go to the kids' houses and tell their parents so they can administer proper punishment? Well, the one kid's parents are crack fiends or something while the other's I don't happen to know. Plus, such a move would require me to have to talk to a neighbor, which is something I try to do as rarely as humanly possible. Should I call the cops on the little buggers next time I see them acting the fool? That seems a little extreme. So I guess I will have to handle this situation in the manner that I think is the most humane way possible. I'm simply going to have to kill the rotten sons of biltches.
