Nightmare at Chili's: Two-hour dinner with a toddler in tow

In the nearly 17 months that we've been accompanied by a third person (a very tiny person) when going out to eat, we've found it amazing how quickly you can actually get in and out of a restaurant. Hosts are anxious to get you seated so your child isn't wreaking havoc in their lobby. Servers cannot wait to get your order in, delivered and cleared to minimize the mess that is quickly accumulating under the high chair.

Unfortunately, that was not the case tonight. After a bit of shopping at the King of Prussia mall, we decided to head over to Chili's for dinner. We should have known it was not going to be smooth sailing as soon as the waitress took 15 minutes to bring us our drinks and take our order. But having been in the biz myself during my college years, I always like to give servers the benefit of the doubt. Even when we have to repeat our order three times: Fried mozzarella, cup of chili, chicken fajitas, margarita chicken. Mmmhmmm. Not exactly that complicated.

The Freezer Case: Wegmans Thin Crust Specialty Plain Pizza

Okay, technically not a freezer case review, but close enough. You can find this "Thin Crust Specialty Plain Pizza" in Wegmans' prepared food section in a refrigerator case.

We were late eating dinner (which makes for a crabby nibble) and trying to get a few groceries when I decided to pick up a pie that I could pop in the oven as soon as we got home. We've had their regular (not labeled as specialty, whatever that means) pepperoni pizza in the past and always been pleased. However, it was a Friday, which means no meat, and you know I like a thin crust, so we decided to give this a try.

Tale of the Pie: Paesano Pizza

Oofah. Talk about a bad pie. Our level of disappointment might be partly due to the fact that the last two pizza joints we reviewed (Oaks, Gino's) were quite good. Or perhaps the pie just totally sucked.

We originally ordered for delivery, but when we were quoted a time estimate of an hour, we decided to pick up because I was too darn hungry to wait. Paesano's must be going green and delivering by foot because there was literally no one else in the place when the hubby picked up the pie. So we're not exactly sure what would have taken an hour.

Dear...You: The Local Chinese Food Restaurant

Dear Proprietors of the Golden Key Chinese Restaurant,

One can not survive on pizza alone. Every once in a while, when we order out, it has to be something else. And when it is, it is usually Chinese food. And when it is Chinese food, for us, it has always been your restaurant, Golden Key.

It is always so tough to find a good Chinese food restaurant. I don't know why. It just is. For the longest time, when I lived in New Jersey before meeting my betrothed, my hot spot was Hunan Garden on Route 130 in Delran. When I moved out of the Garden State, it seemed that I just couldn't find a replacement. I mean, that's OK because myself and the wife just gorged ourselves on pizza and steaks and burritos and that sort of stuff instead, but every once in a while, you just want a good egg roll, know what I'm saying?

Doesn't Scrubbing Bubbles make a power sprayer for this?

"May I remind you that you're the one who originally wanted a bulldog."

"May I remind you who his favorite is."

Well, I am his favorite. And it's hard to remember what my life was like before Bumpkin. But that certainly doesn't mean that I should be expected to scrub his boogies off the walls all by myself. Just in time for our annual Oscar party next weekend, we're doing our annual boogie cleaning this weekend.

If you've never owned a bulldog, you probably think this sounds a bit nuts. I'm not talking about the kind of boogies that you discreetly try to remove from your nose while you're parked at a red light or alone in the supermarket aisle. Our Bumpkin accumulates eye boogies in his eye fold several times a day. And if we don't catch them and wipe them off, he proceeds to shake his head and sends them flying to land everywhere and anywhere ... on the walls, on my pajamas, in our nibble's hair. I'm even trying to teach the nibble how to remove them from Bump's face with a tissue, although he's having a hard time grasping the concept of boogies residing somewhere other than in the nose.