Ten Quick Thoughts on...The Kiwi Yogurt Shop Robbery in Collegeville

So some guy robbed a local yogurt shop at the new Providence Town Center in Collegeville this past weekend. So here are some quick thoughts I had about the whole thing:

1. Who the hell robs a yogurt shop. Do these places really do all that much business? Are they known to store tons of money in their safe? Come on dude, there has to be a better place to rob than a store ran by a bunch of teenage girls.
2. Why would he decide to rob a store on a Saturday afternoon? This shopping center is fairly new and produces a lot of traffic. This d-bag decided to rob a store at noon on a Saturday. The shop is located very close to Wegmans and Best Buy, two highly patronized stores.
3. The kid supposedly robbed the store with a MP5. That is some major hardware. Where the hell does someone get a gun like that in Collegeville? I am so happy all these right-wingers fight so hard to keep our rights to bear arms and block gun control because who doesn’t need a military grade submachine gun in their home?
4. Wasn’t he hot in his get up? It was like 93 degrees outside and the dude was wearing a black hoodie and black pants. Was he busy on one of the days where it reached over 100?
5. The getaway car was a blue Audi TT. This is not some regular car that you see all the time. It kind of sticks out. I’m kind of surprised that they haven’t found the car yet. A nice and fast car but probably not the best one to remain out of sight in.
6. Props to the dad in the store who once he had the chance took his daughter and bolted out the door. You can watch the video here.  
7. So there were four girls working in the store at the time of the robbery. Three of them were out front when the gunman approached. He ordered them to the ground however they all ran to the back of the store, right past another girl seated in the backroom. The girl in the back didn’t move as the others ran by. Did the three girls not tell her what was going on?
8. Kudos to the girl in the back. She looked very calm with the gun pointed at her. She calmly walks up to the registers and hands the money over to the gunman. Conspiracy theory here but not once did she appear threatened in the video. She never raised her hands in the universal sign of don’t shoot, was she in on it? I doubt it since he only got away with $305.
9. $305 and some loose change, bro! Not worth the hassle. He really should have done some better research on a place to hold up. How much do you really expect to get from a yogurt shop that was only open for 5 minutes, my guess is probably a little over $300.
10. This dude really used a submachine gun to rob a yogurt shop? They have to cost a couple grand. Maybe it was a air rifle and he was trying to pay it off.