Ten Things I’m Hating…RIGHT NOW!!!

1) Poor Bathroom Manners – I have touched on this before, but humor me for a minute for a story that will make your skin crawl: Today, I entered the hopper for an intimate moment. Only I was not able to sit down immediately for the person before me had pissed all over the seat. This is not really cool, but I have dealt with it before! I could just rip off a piece of paper, give the seat a wipe down, and pray that I do not catch any communicable diseases. It’s all good. One problem: the piss had dried!!! It had morphed into a sort of yellowish crusty layer of filth. I had to step back out of the stall, wet down a piece of paper, scrub down the urine crust with an unusual amount of elbow grease, and grab a dry paper towel to wipe down the moisture still residing on the seat. That is a lot of effort to have to go through due to another man’s lack of aim. The thing is I don’t have a problem with standing up in a stall to take a pee. It is, in fact, my preferred method of urine evacuation. However, if you are going to do it, lift the seat first, and if you should manage to get some residual fluids on the bowl, have the courtesy to wipe that sh*t off. Who knows? The next man might have diarrhea.

New to the Collection: Up

Every time Saucy adds a new DVD to his increasingly mammoth film collection, he will take the time to provide five indelible scenes that convinced him to spend his hard-earned sheckles on something he could have gotten for free with a DVD burner and a Netflix subscription. Unless he doesn't want to do that, at which point he will just do something else. This installment discusses Up, the 2009 animated film by Pixar Studios.

I had prepared a really long, pompous, snobby, interminable screed about the "Married Life sequence" in Up, the scene that I consider to be the greatest single piece of filmmaking in movies during the year of 2009, and probably one of the five or so best examples of film editing during the last decade. It was basically just a restating of the events that take place during the sequence, only I inserted some really absurd terms, like "meet-cute," "human condition," and "haunting image." Seriously, the thing really blew. I figured I would just scrap it and allow you to watch the scene for yourself. Follow the link and enjoy!

Ten Things I'm Hating...RIGHT NOW!!!

1. The Wind

Right now, I could go for just about anything else. Give me snow in the springtime. A torrential downpour? Why the hell not? Pretty soon, the heat will come and I will complain about that as well. But not as much as I do about the wind. I can't remember the last time I walked outside and it wasn't blowing at least 25 miles per hour. Maybe it just seems like that. But I have very delicate hair. I need this to stop.