Time for a Random List: The Ten Best Best Picture Oscar Winners

1. Gone with the Wind (1939)
2. Annie Hall (1977)
3. The Godfather Part II (1974)
4. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
5. The Godfather (1972)
6. The Apartment (1960)
7. On the Waterfront (1954)
8. Schindler's List (1993)
9. Casablanca (1942)
10. Unforgiven (1992)

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Random Thoughts about the 2011 Oscars

Usually, if I were to write about the Oscars, it wouldn't be in the form of a wrap-up. Instead, I would write something predicting all the winners. When I was proven to be correct, I would return the next day to gloat over my superiority in the area of trivial knowledge. If I were proven to be wrong, I would never mention the predictions again, promptly pretending that they never existed (I would probably remove the post for good measure because I am very insecure). Alas, I can not publish these sorts of predictions anymore. You see, we have a party for the Oscars every year, and this party includes a ballot contest wherein the person who gets the most correct wins a wonderful prize. Since my friends now know about this blog, if I were to print my thoughts, dishonest scalawags could invade the blog for clues and the contest would therefore be compromised (plus, you would have a lot of people dumb enough to vote for the True Grit Girl over the shoe-in of the year, Melissa Leo). This, by the way, is the circuitous route to saying that a commenter (WE HAD A COMMENTER!!! PLEASE KEEP READING AND COMMENTING!!! AND INVITE FRIENDS!!!) asked us what our thoughts were on the Oscars. Well...here they are in a completely random yet incredibly voluminous manner.

1) It is nice that a lot of people have seen fit to get in Kirk Douglas's corner. They say that he was charming. They say that he was witty. They say that he was a good sport. But let's be honest: Dude had no business being on that stage. His appearance was trainwreck television of the highest order. It couldn't get more uncomfortable if you asked Mel Gibson to cut the ribbon at the groundbreaking for a new Holocaust museum. By saying this, I in no way disparage Douglas, who suffered a debilitating stroke and is 94 years old for God's sake. But the douchebag producers who put him in that position probably should have been tarred and feathered in the middle of Sunset Boulevard.

Time for a Random List: Most Beautifully Shot Films by Decade

One night, when wasted of course, I composed an epic list for my friend of the most beautifully shot films by decade beginning with the 1930s. I really don't know why I did this. He simply mentioned the word "film" in a text and it sent me off on a diatribe that ended only because I was in the midst of consuming my sixth Weyerbacher Verboten of the night. Anyway, I would like to share this list with you right now because a) the list still intrigues me and b) I probably think this line of conversation is way more intellectually stimulating than it actually is.

1930s - Gone with the Wind: There isn't a lot of competition here. Maybe The Wizard of Oz? The temptation is to give it to Judy Garland's film because of the sheer awesomeness of those flying monkey dudes, but GWTW wins for that massive crane shot at the train station alone. The one that ends with the shot of the Confederate flag in tatters. When that flag pops in and the solemn music comes in to accompany it, it is almost enough to make you feel for those slave-owning crackers. Nah, just kidding. I'm glad all those a-holes got iced.