1) Poor Bathroom Manners – I have touched on this before, but humor me for a minute for a story that will make your skin crawl: Today, I entered the hopper for an intimate moment. Only I was not able to sit down immediately for the person before me had pissed all over the seat. This is not really cool, but I have dealt with it before! I could just rip off a piece of paper, give the seat a wipe down, and pray that I do not catch any communicable diseases. It’s all good. One problem: the piss had dried!!! It had morphed into a sort of yellowish crusty layer of filth. I had to step back out of the stall, wet down a piece of paper, scrub down the urine crust with an unusual amount of elbow grease, and grab a dry paper towel to wipe down the moisture still residing on the seat. That is a lot of effort to have to go through due to another man’s lack of aim. The thing is I don’t have a problem with standing up in a stall to take a pee. It is, in fact, my preferred method of urine evacuation. However, if you are going to do it, lift the seat first, and if you should manage to get some residual fluids on the bowl, have the courtesy to wipe that sh*t off. Who knows? The next man might have diarrhea.
Showing posts with label Inception. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inception. Show all posts
Friday, October 7, 2011
Ten Things I’m Hating…RIGHT NOW!!!
1) Poor Bathroom Manners – I have touched on this before, but humor me for a minute for a story that will make your skin crawl: Today, I entered the hopper for an intimate moment. Only I was not able to sit down immediately for the person before me had pissed all over the seat. This is not really cool, but I have dealt with it before! I could just rip off a piece of paper, give the seat a wipe down, and pray that I do not catch any communicable diseases. It’s all good. One problem: the piss had dried!!! It had morphed into a sort of yellowish crusty layer of filth. I had to step back out of the stall, wet down a piece of paper, scrub down the urine crust with an unusual amount of elbow grease, and grab a dry paper towel to wipe down the moisture still residing on the seat. That is a lot of effort to have to go through due to another man’s lack of aim. The thing is I don’t have a problem with standing up in a stall to take a pee. It is, in fact, my preferred method of urine evacuation. However, if you are going to do it, lift the seat first, and if you should manage to get some residual fluids on the bowl, have the courtesy to wipe that sh*t off. Who knows? The next man might have diarrhea.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ten Quick Thoughts on...127 Hours
1) Danny Boyle is a very talented director. If he never makes another great film he has earned that distinction for Trainspotting alone. However, sometimes he can get in his own way as well. I'm talking about stuff like the opening split screens and the countless shots of the water being drained away or the mechanisms inside the camera slowly moving when Aron Ralston pushes record. It's all very cool and gets critics to write adjectives like "kinetic" or "inventive" in their reviews, but as far as serving the story, it can often be just plain distracting.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Random Thoughts about the 2011 Oscars
Usually, if I were to write about the Oscars, it wouldn't be in the form of a wrap-up. Instead, I would write something predicting all the winners. When I was proven to be correct, I would return the next day to gloat over my superiority in the area of trivial knowledge. If I were proven to be wrong, I would never mention the predictions again, promptly pretending that they never existed (I would probably remove the post for good measure because I am very insecure). Alas, I can not publish these sorts of predictions anymore. You see, we have a party for the Oscars every year, and this party includes a ballot contest wherein the person who gets the most correct wins a wonderful prize. Since my friends now know about this blog, if I were to print my thoughts, dishonest scalawags could invade the blog for clues and the contest would therefore be compromised (plus, you would have a lot of people dumb enough to vote for the True Grit Girl over the shoe-in of the year, Melissa Leo). This, by the way, is the circuitous route to saying that a commenter (WE HAD A COMMENTER!!! PLEASE KEEP READING AND COMMENTING!!! AND INVITE FRIENDS!!!) asked us what our thoughts were on the Oscars. Well...here they are in a completely random yet incredibly voluminous manner.
1) It is nice that a lot of people have seen fit to get in Kirk Douglas's corner. They say that he was charming. They say that he was witty. They say that he was a good sport. But let's be honest: Dude had no business being on that stage. His appearance was trainwreck television of the highest order. It couldn't get more uncomfortable if you asked Mel Gibson to cut the ribbon at the groundbreaking for a new Holocaust museum. By saying this, I in no way disparage Douglas, who suffered a debilitating stroke and is 94 years old for God's sake. But the douchebag producers who put him in that position probably should have been tarred and feathered in the middle of Sunset Boulevard.
1) It is nice that a lot of people have seen fit to get in Kirk Douglas's corner. They say that he was charming. They say that he was witty. They say that he was a good sport. But let's be honest: Dude had no business being on that stage. His appearance was trainwreck television of the highest order. It couldn't get more uncomfortable if you asked Mel Gibson to cut the ribbon at the groundbreaking for a new Holocaust museum. By saying this, I in no way disparage Douglas, who suffered a debilitating stroke and is 94 years old for God's sake. But the douchebag producers who put him in that position probably should have been tarred and feathered in the middle of Sunset Boulevard.
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