Tale of the Pie: SliCE (Rittenhouse Square)

When we went to Rittenhouse Square's economically named SliCEthe other day, we forgot our notepad. So I took notes via texts to my wife's phone. I figured I would then just look at the sent messages and I could recount the experience that way. One problem: I then proceeded to lose my phone that night. Being that I did not want to monopolize my wife's phone for a significant stretch, I was kind of stuck. Five days after the experience, the memory is starting to fade slightly so I had to snatch Spicy's mobile. I will now write a review of the pie, only rather than using the notes as the backbone of the review, I will type the texts in their entirety and then try to translate them as best as possible as extinguished memories hopefully return.

The Freezer Case: California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust Hawaiian Pizza

My wife would gladly tell you (if you didn't already know) that I write way too long for the blog format. I know. I am really impressed with my own wit and it drives me to be a little verbose. I want to remedy this, however, and I thought I would begin (and probably end) with this post.

It's about the California Pizza Kitchen Hawaiian Pizza, frozen variety. And, well, everything about it was wack. The crust was crunchy and tasteless. The sauce was bland and practically nonexistent, so we had to freshen it with some tomato sauce of our own. The cheese was nondescript and a little clumpy. Then they went ahead and skimped on the ham-and-pineapple toppings, which I thought was kind of weak. But once I thought about it, the toppings were no good, so who really cares? In short, there is absolutely nothing good about the California Pizza Kitchen's frozen Hawaiian pie.

Chain Reaction: Papa John's

One of the wife's favorite pastimes is ragging on me for liking Papa John's pizza. She says it isn't authentic enough. That no self-respecting Italian person would eat it. And I don't know, maybe she's right. All I know is that when you order a pizza from Papa John's you know what you are going to get. The sauce may be a little too sweet, but it isn't bland or watery. If you ask for extra sauce, the supposed artisan who is making your pie won't get insulted and drench your pie like a fireman trying to put out a five-alarm blaze. Will your pie seem like it derived from a masterclass on pizzamaking? No, but nine out of ten times you will be guaranteed NOT to receive a bust! It was this thought that drove me to ask the wife if we could get a Papa John's pizza on this evening. We needed to eat something without meat. They were running an ad for some sort of Tuscan Six-Cheese pizza, and it just seemed like a perfect fit. Surprisingly, the wife agreed, an order was placed, and, about a half-hour later, the pizza had arrived.