A Horribly Written Run-On Paragraph about Audubon's Everything Bagel

You know, I want to blog tonight, but I also want to maybe catch the episode of Boardwalk Empire that I am behind on so I am going to try and keep it as quick and dirty as possible with what I am going to say about Audubon bagel shop Everything Bagel.

Ate there the other day. I went a bunch of times before we started this blog because we had gotten sick of constantly going to our usual weekend breakfast haunt, Einstein Bagels. The thing with Einstein is that their "schmears" are really good, but their eggs are really fake and huge and every once in a while you just feel like you want a real egg. But I digress: Back to Everything Bagel. When we had gone there previously, I tried really hard to like it. However, after giving it a bunch of tries, I couldn't really shake the suspicion that they weren't giving you enough egg or bacon for the width of the bagel. It's like you have this really large bagel and then this sliver of egg that it was hard to believe was even one egg. It was like half an egg. Maybe 5/8? When you factor in that the bagel was often way too crunchy for an ideal piece of bread, it just didn't seem like it was a good deal. So we stopped going there and went to Panera for a while, but then we decided that their sandwiches were really bland and they didn't have much of a selection, and then we started going to Chick-Fil-A because they were giving the breakfast away for free if you came in wearing your pajamas, and then we went to McDonald's a couple times before we realized that we didn't want to have simultaneous coronaries, and then we ended up going back to Einstein because even though their eggs are really fake and it is usually pretty dirty in there and the service is spotty to be kind - there is one dizzy old broad who hasn't got my sandwich right the entire time I have been going; that's like five years - the schmears are like SO F*CKING GOOD!!! Anyway, back to the beginning of this disorganized diatribe. Everything Bagel. Went there the other day. Had a coupon and wanted to see if it wasn't as bad as I remembered. Found out that I had a really good memory (seriously, I am the SHEET in Quizzo for realz). The sandwich was mediocre. The bagel was huge and crunchy. It seemed like you got even less egg then I recalled. 3/8 of a huevo, maybe! They even seemed to skimp on the ketchup and hot sauce that I requested (then again, maybe the taste simply got enveloped by the INCREDIBLY LARGE CRUNCHY bagel, which was about as large as a lady's ass if said lady had an ass the size of Rhode Island). And then the kicker: the service even seems to have gone downhill. I don't know if it is the same owner as before or what, but the dude was always working the register and he was always very friendly. Didn't see him when I went. In his place was a fairly robotic lady who handed over to two other folks who went about their egg-frying business in a detached fashion that left me off-put. Man, I don't need a breakfast joint to be like Disney World or anything, but the place seemed to have the atmosphere of a movie audience walking out of a Schindler's List/Sophie's Choice double bill, nahm'sayin'? In closing, I will not be returning to Everything Bagel. The bagels are large and crunchy. The egg distribution thrifty. And the atmosphere not conducive to forgiving the culinary wrongs. With this screed completed, I can now go see if Jimmy Darmody decides to blow anybody's head off this week.

Everything Bagel
2642 Egypt Road
Audubon, PA 19403
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Le Village Cafe an Intriguing Option for Your Breakfast Needs

If you look at the Norristown, Pa. area (and if you are not from there, we apologize and will get something for you up soon) right now, there is a surprising dearth of options in the greasy-spoon-breakfast diner category. The Trooper Diner consistently disappoints. Last we checked, Astoria Family Restaurant provided decent food with service that verges on the horrendous. Christine's? Umm...no. With this thought in mind, we decided to try Le Village Cafe, a low-key spot in Norristown's Fairview Village Shopping Center. Turns out the food is quite good, yet not without room for improvement.

Weekend in Margate: Junior's Donuts and Dogs

The little guy woke up early on July 4th. Evidently, kids don't understand the concept of sleeping in on vacation. The wife is still recovering from a slight bout of strep throat, so after struggling to get Saucy Jr. back to sleep, I decided to get him out and about instead. So although we were roughly a mile and a half away, I decided to walk him to Junior's Donuts and Dogs. We headed down Atlantic Avenue, passing Lucy the Elephant. We waved a quick Hello, but kept on cruising. I didn't know if Junior's would accept card so we stopped at a local Wawa, parking the stroller in an area that seemed specially designated for bikes and baby pushers. After hitting the ATM - braving a possible upbraiding for assuming the burden of a withdrawl fee - we moved on along our journey toward sugary sustenance. After a few more blocks (and a lot more sweat accumulation), we arrived at our destination. I removed the Sauce from his wheeled chariot and we waited in line with the other patrons, many of which became locked in involuntary staring matches with a hungry toddler. When it was my turn to order, I didn't hesitate*: Two large, chocolate strewn chocolate donuts, a sizeable chocolate milk, and a Diet Coke for myself (as if a lengthy walk had not already woken me up). I gathered up some napkins (surprised I remembered them) and all of the goods and walked over to find a seat. Most of the tables on their premises were taken or in too close of a proximity to other customers. I am not a social animal. So I looked for other options. And there it was. An open park bench...

Overall, a Very Good Thyme!

The other morning, we decided to go out for breakfast, and as our destination we chose a place near us called The Thyme Cafe. It is a nice, small spot (maybe eight tables) in Norristown that serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner (it is a BYOB). We are, of course, on a health kick, and since they have some healthy options on their menu, it seemed like this was the place for us.

I ordered the Breakfast Burrito, a very tasty selection with egg, black beans, and steak, while the lady had Huevos Rancheros, which came adorned with chorizo...and some other stuff (I have to work on my foodie retention skills, and, unfortunately, I don't believe they have a website to access a menu). For the little guy, we ordered the blueberry pancakes. The breakfast burrito was very good (I have actually had it several times and it is a quick go-to), and wifey reported that the Huevos Rancheros was also quite satisfactory (although probably not a good choice directly before a 5K race). I did steal a bite of Lil' Man's pancakes as well. Although these delights are probably persona non grata during my pursuit of the body of Adonis/less obese hemoglobin, I can say that the chomp I had was pleasing indeed. So basically, The Thyme Cafe has the food bit down. The owner, a guy named Andrew, has spent several years in the restaurant business and it seems like he puts a great deal of care into every meal that is released from the kitchen.