Thank You, Taj Gibson!!!

I don't like the Miami Heat. LeBron James is, of course, a self-aggrandizing whiner who had no chance to win a title on his own so he went out and rigged the league. Dwyane Wade is an arrogant, self-entitled fiend whose only title was handed to him by the league. He showed how truly classless he was by dunking in the last seconds of the Heat's first-round victory over Philadelphia after the Sixers had conceded. As for Chris Bosh, well, he is simply a glorified caddy. He couldn't lead his Toronto Raptor team anywhere near a playoff victory, so he moved to South Beach to shoot wide-open 15-footers and most likely do LeBron's whites whenever "The King" is feeling a bit lazy! These clowns actually had the temerity to cry and celebrate on the court after a playoff victory over the Boston Celtics IN THE CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS!!! So now the Heat are playing the Chicago Bulls in the conference finals and...it looks like the road just got a little tougher!

Dear...You: My Fantasy Basketball Team

Every once in a while, The Pizza Project gets angry or happy or sad or excited. When this occurs, they need to write a letter to nobody in particular. Why? Becaue it feels good, that's why!

Dear My Fantasy Basketball Team,

Alright, no more games, motherf*ckers! This year, my first (and quite likely my last) season of fantasy basketball, started off so well. I received the second pick in the draft. I won my first four games, defeating people and mocking them horribly simply because it seemed fun. I ran up a record total of points one week, a stretch of seven days where it seemed that if I could have placed Drazen Petrovic's rotting corpse on my roster and he would have found a way to put up 25, 5, and 5, with a three-pointer of two.

Now look at me: 9-8, trying to scratch my way into the playoffs. It all started when I cut the captain and veritable namesake of my team, Yao Ming. I had promised to keep him on my roster all year, even if he was injured for the entire season. With Yao at the helm, I saw nothing but perfect health. Joakim Noah was rebounding and blocking shots. Jrue Holiday was coming into his own as a young playmaker. Andrea Bargnani was making chicken cacciatore for the team on off days. In short, it was bliss.